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It has been sometime
since I dreamed about having my own
personal space such as this.
I am in my 30’s now but all of those years behind me
just passed by without many written memories.
What I did,
what I ate,
where I went,
my thoughts,
dreams,
fears,
all seemed forgotten
when I didn’t write them down.
I almost couldn’t remember what I used to be when I was
a child, teenager and in my young adult life.
My perceptions of each and every thing that surrounded me
including people, situation and life
have possibly change to a startlingly contrasting value after so many years.
How improve or worsen they are?
How good or awful have I become?
Or in some cases,
how I perceive things may turned out to be stagnant without any progress at all.
If only I had written down every thought, belief and idea
to allow me for comparison between now and then,
perhaps I would be able to
understand myself more than if I am not.
Perhaps as well to feel more alive without having everything going by too fast,
by stilling them one by one in memoirs of written words and passages.
I hope that I am not three decades too late to start capturing memories
in probably another half of my life years if I am lucky enough to have
that extended time
beyond today.
It would be remarkable if I could still write when I am already 60 years old.
An old woman, with glasses, back-hunching, sitting in front of
what a future computer may look like,
composing an article for the n-th time with years of experience in her hands.
How much knowledge and wisdom could I pen down within that
vast amount of time,
where if I would be sharing them only verbally,
they must not be as organize and extensive seeing that
ideas are better and well develop when one writes them down.
I don’t know if anybody would be willing to read anything that I would write
but it would be a dream to think that anyone would.
I wonder,
Would they be intrigued by the words that I wrote?
Would they find comfort from the world that they see through my eyes?
Would they become a better person when they hit the close button of the tab?
I am very hopeful that they would.
That you would.
Perhaps from the words that I wrote,
someone somewhere out there
who might be dealing with the same thing that I had,
can get a little bit of support and comfort.
This is one of the essences of what I am trying to reach, since I believe
the best persons are the ones that give benefit to others.
Beneficial.
How valuable you are if you
give whenever you have.
To give comfort when you are comfortable.
To share happiness when you are happy.
To offer help when you are capable.
To advice when you have wisdom.
Yet, doing those deeds are no easy feat in this scene.
A good writing is challenging to create.
It almost always takes time away from oneself in order to compose
a brilliant one,
especially by an amateur writer like me who doesn’t have a lot of experience.
Putting the right words into sentences,
sentences into passages,
and passages into meaningful messages
require lots of thoughts and pondering.
While that is already hard enough,
the aim to also earn a living through this along the way
makes this even harder to do.
I am contemplating how I would be able to do it if I wish to do it for a long time.
How do I go about this?
How do other bloggers go about this?
The saying that only those who truly have the perseverance can be consistent
cannot be truer.
This is very far from what I am.
The thing that I know about myself too well is, motivation doesn't come easy.
Consistency is a distant friend of mine.
Almost aloof.
I might stop along the way.
I might struggle in the middle.
Those are the days that I earnestly hope won’t ever come.
But knowing myself well, I am almost certain that it is going to happen.
Yet, despite knowing all of my weaknesses, I will try to give it a go anyway.
I trust that even if only one person receives the tiniest of help from this space,
it would soothe my heart.
Also to be able to have a little corner of my own
where I can just write whatever my heart’s desire is electrifying.
So, please bear with me.
I am taking this one step at a time, trying my best and learning slowly
as time goes by.
If you see any imperfections,
I apologize at this moment beforehand.
Criticisms are welcome.
But don’t be too hard.
It is only fair since I am only human.
Let’s be kind to one another.
If you reached this point, I thank you for reading this nonsense that I wrote.
It is hard to write a welcoming letter.
After so many hours
pouring my words,
thankfully here we are almost at the end.
Before I go,
I would remind you that there’s a high change that you won’t find this again
in the future.
In that case you might want to bookmark this little
cottage of mine.
If you do, that would mean a lot to me <3.
Stumble upon this blog again in the future while searching for
all your other treasured bookmarks.
Come find me again when you least expect it.
Or whenever you fancy.
Let’s make wonderful memories here.
Until next time, XOXO.
Love,
Dila
If you wish, you can comment down below or talk to me here!
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